Q: What’s the first thing people do after stepping onto the escalator that leads to Suguo and upon hearing the instruction not to look at their phone while on the device?
问：人们踏上通往Suguo的自动扶梯后，听到指示不要在设备上看手机，首先做什么？
A: Look at their phone.
A：看看他们的手机。
My teenage daughter has a banana-shaped “squishy thing” attached to her high-school bag.
我十几岁的女儿的高中书包上贴着一个香蕉形的“软绵绵的东西”。
When squished, it emits a randomly-chosen kind of nonsensical utterance which perplexedly delights the adolescents of today. Among them is one announcement in particular.
当被挤压时，它发出一种随机选择的无厘厘的言论，令人困惑地取悦了今天的青少年。 其中有一个特别的公告。
“I’m speechless”. If only modern China as a whole held the same belief. For in the Middle Kingdom of today, noise pollution has moved in to a new top gear altogether.
“我无言以对”。 如果整个现代中国都持有同样的信念就好了。 因为在今天的中王国，噪音污染已经完全进入一个新的顶峰。
An analysis in to a day of simply existing in Nanjing proves the point. Over and over.
对仅仅在南京存在的一天的分析证明了这一点。 一遍又一遍。
Back in the day, the first Chinese words a foreigner was likely to learn were “hello” or “thank you”. Today though, “success” may be more pertinent. Success at scanning a QR code. Success at paying for something. Success at picking up a delivery.
回到那个日子，外国人可能学到的第一个中文单词是“你好”或“谢谢”。 不过，今天，“成功”可能更相关。 成功扫描二维码。 成功支付某物。 成功取货。
But my day begins with the “Gong xi fa cai” greeting upon entering and leaving the little convenience store by my front gate that comes at a decibel level defying the tiny size of the device emitting it.
但我的一天从进入和离开前门旁的小便利店时的“Gong xi fa cai”问候开始，这个便利店以分贝水平藐视发射它的设备的微小尺寸。
It leads to the announcements generated by our existence meant only for others. Despite product newly in hand, “Payment deposited in Alipay account” serves only to inform the merchant of their increased wealth and how much poorer my spendthrift has left me.
它导致了我们的存在所产生的公告，只针对他人。 尽管产品刚到手，但“存入支付宝账户的付款”只是通知商家他们的财富增加，以及我的挥霍者让我变得多么贫穷。
But the most loathed of all announcements are those which were triggered during the dawn of time by having to take a number. In China Mobile, especially-popular dining establishments, or worst of all, a bank.
但所有公告中最令人厌恶的是那些在黎明时分因必须采取数字而引发的。 在中国移动，特别受欢迎的餐饮场所，或者最糟糕的是，一家银行。
I can handle being first in a queue, even last, sometimes, provided it’s a short queue. Or coming second in a competition (my town’s junior snooker championship, for example), but 57319? There are convicted felons with shorter inmate numbers.
我可以处理排在第一个，甚至最后，有时，只要排得很短。 或者在比赛中获得第二名（例如，我镇上的青少年斯诺克锦标赛），但57319？ 有一些被定罪的重罪犯，囚犯人数较短。
Toward the end of this interminable experience is the invitation, announced for all to hear of course, to leave a rating as to customer experience. Perhaps fortuitously for the institution concerned, the response shall remain oddly silent.
在这种无法结束的体验接近尾声时，邀请所有人听到，对客户体验留下评价。 也许对相关机构来说是偶然的，回应将保持奇怪的沉默。
And just when I thought it was all over as my sojourn to the outside concludes, I am reminded of that which has had me increasingly concerned of late. It’s about my front door, you see. Upon receipt of a biometric, it will naturally announce that I have been successful at opening the door.
就在我认为一切都结束了，因为我在外面的逗留结束了，我想起了最近让我越来越担心的事情。 你看，这是关于我的前门。 收到生物识别信息后，它自然会宣布我成功开门了。
With this having become so engrained, my concern relates to the day it stops working. And the very real possibility of me standing there for eternity.
随着它变得如此根深蒂固，我担心的是它停止工作的那一天。 以及我永远站在那里的非常真实的可能性。