Delicious, isn’t it? Remember the smell when you unpeeled your first credit card? If you have bought electronics, you will know the excitement of transparent sleeves and instruction booklets. Let us also mention polyethylene. If I write here about the smell of new bin liners, you will experience something quite specific in your “inner nose”. Polyethylene. It is the softer plastics that seem more generous to give off their scent. PVC raincoats and toy umbrellas. We all know the aromatic explosion from a roll of bubble wrap. Tiny seams of injected modernity. It...

By coincidence, I was recently drinking Yunnan Green tea anyway. My favourite market-stall had been selling some. Yeah, it was cheap. And, despite the unpromising smell and ashen grey appearance, I was curious. I had not bought any of this stuff while in Yunnan itself. I remember seeing it piled high in the market there, dusty, no effort towards preservation. “That’s not the way to treat green tea”, I thought. Moreover, the Yunnan sellers themselves told us not to buy it! Buy the pu er, they said; this can only by...

Tea is supposed to be zero calories. So what is this shiny slick on the surface of yesterday’s drink? It’s like the blue-brown façades of blocks in China’s fourth tier. It’s like a rolled scarab carapace. It’s like the squeezed temple of a liquid crystal. Shake it and the metallic tectons quite collapse, broad shards collecting into one bronze rim-stain.  Perhaps this is why we are frequently warned not to drink tea that’s been left overnight. Well, if there is a swollen cigarette-butt floating on top, let me concur; that cup may...

HRH E II R, Queen Elizabeth the Second. Her name has appeared in these pages twice before now.  And why would a Chinese tea column be concerned with the former monarch of the United Kingdom? Actually, Strainer first mentioned her as the name of a donkey ridden on a trip to Yunnan. .  And then there was the column about Chinese tea sellers seeking actively validation for their product through international celebrities. The story goes that Queen Elizabeth II, when introduced to a new variety of oolong tea from Taiwan, described it as...