For if you go down to the gym today, you’re sure of a big surprise. Given the little physical exercise of late, many of us have about a year of flab to burn off. Gym memberships in many parts of the world over are hence rocketing. Yes, the zeitgeist that is wellness is a metaphor for a world starting to open up again.
因为如果你今天去健身房，你肯定会有一个很大的惊喜。 鉴于最近很少的体育锻炼，我们中的许多人有大约一年的脂肪需要燃烧。 因此，世界许多地方的健身房会员正在激增。 是的，健康时代精神的隐喻着一个开始重新开放的世界。
There was therefore never a better time for The Nanjinger to send a correspondent undercover to join a gym in Nanjing and report back as to the most bizarre things he uncovered visiting almost every day over a 3-month period.
因此，对于《南京人》来说，从来没有比这更好的时机派一名卧底记者加入南京的一家健身房，并报道他在3个月内几乎每天都发现的最奇怪的事情。
As a caveat, this exclusive only deals with the goings on in the gym’s swimming pool and male changing room. This is on account of heaps of previous media elsewhere discussing the bizarre behaviour in the gyms themselves, examples such as the young ladies who work out in high highs. And because we don’t know a dumb bell from a dumb ass.
作为警告，这个独家只涉及健身房的游泳池和男性更衣室里发生的事情。 这是因为之前在其他地方的大量媒体都在讨论健身房本身的怪异行为，例如在高处锻炼的年轻女士。 因为我们不知道哑铃和哑巴屁股。
Hence, herein the top five oddities you will likely encounter.
因此，这里是您可能会遇到的五大怪事。
5. The Wideboy (小伙子) in the Changing Room who Smokes
5. 更衣室里抽烟的小伙子
Initially we though that this was an extreme anomaly, but then it happened again, and again.
起初，我们以为这是一个极端的异常，但后来它一次又一次地发生了。
The first chap responded indignantly to the retiree who challenged him. “Us young people have so much pressure”, he said, blissfully unaware of how ridiculous his cliché had already become. On the next occasion, the two overweight offenders could hardly muster a snigger, and an “Excuse us, we’re sorry. We didn’t know [about the rule]”.
第一个人愤愤不平地回应了挑战他的退休人员。 “我们年轻人承受着如此大的压力，”他说，幸福地不知道他的陈词滥调已经变得多么可笑。 下一次，两名超重罪犯几乎无法调和“对不起，我们很抱歉。 我们不知道[关于规则]。”
4. Formation Swimming
4. 编队游泳
Many swimming pools in Chinese gyms are divided into two lanes, with the wider lane occupying perhaps two-thirds of the pool. This is reserved for swimming lessons, practice, children and horseplay. The narrower lane is reserved for the serious swimmers and there are strict rules of etiquette to follow.
中国健身房的许多游泳池分为两条车道，较宽的车道可能占据了游泳池的三分之二。 这是为游泳课、练习、儿童和马术保留的。 较窄的泳道是为认真游泳者保留的，有严格的礼仪规则需要遵守。
With the lane essentially now a two-way road, it is able to accommodate people swimming in opposite directions. The unwritten rule is to swim a length and then move to other side of the lane for the return leg, allowing an appropriate amount of safe distance from the swimmer in front. Frankly, they look like planes lining up to land at Heathrow.
由於這條車道現在基本上是一條雙向道路，它可以容納向相反方向游泳的人。 不成文的规则是游一段距离，然后移动到车道的另一侧进行回程，允许与前面的游泳者保持适当的安全距离。 坦率地说，它们看起来像排队降落在希思罗机场的飞机。
3. Naked Use of WeChat
3. 裸露使用微信
Back in the changing room, you’re no one today unless you can strip off and lounge around staring at WeChat. The preferred position, it would appear, is with one foot on the other knee. And with that, we are now lost for words.
回到更衣室，你今天就不是任何人了，除非你能脱光衣服，盯着微信闲逛。 似乎首选的姿势是一只脚放在另一个膝盖上。 就这样，我们现在不知所措。
2. The Mermaid Fin
2. 美人鱼鳍
Last time we checked, tying someone’s feet together and then hurling them into deep water is a type of torture. Not so for the mother of a 7 or 8-year old whom The Nanjinger observed, snapping photos of her daughter perched precariously on the edge of the pool in imminent danger of falling in without the use of her feet. The gym’s swim coaches/life guards remained blissfully unaware; they being preoccupied with teaching three or four people to swim simultaneously and/or looking at their phone.
上次我们检查过，把某人的脚綁在一起，然后把它们扔进深水里是一种折磨。 对于一个7或8岁孩子的母亲来说，并非如此。《南京人》观察到，她的女儿岌岌可危地栖息在游泳池边上，有迫在眉睫的危险，不用脚就掉进去了。 健身房的游泳教练/救生员仍然毫无知情；他们全神贯注地教三四个人同时游泳和/或看手机。
Listen, it’s ok for mermaids but not for little girls. Many studies conducted into the safety of such “toys” have found that wearing mermaid tails and fins can reduce a child’s ability to swim by up to 70 percent.
听着，这对美人鱼来说可以，但对小女孩来说不行。 许多关于此类“玩具”安全性的研究发现，佩戴美人鱼尾巴和鳍会使儿童的游泳能力降低70%。
1. We still have difficulty believing it, but taking the cake is… Standing Naked in Front of the Mirror with the Hairdryer.
1. 我们仍然很难相信，但拿蛋糕是……赤身裸体地站在镜子前，拿着吹风机。
In this, the most literally eye-opening of our observations, it appears the towel is now an outdated concept. For now The Nanjinger can introduce the world’s latest and greatest complete waste of electricity.
在這個最令人大開眼界的觀察中，毛巾似乎現在是一個過時的概念。 目前，南京人可以介绍世界上最新和最大的完全浪费电力。
And they don’t just dry the hair on their head; then come the legs, armpits; even the slippers.
他们不仅吹干头上的头发；然后是腿、腋窝；甚至拖鞋。
