Foreigners are leaving China. The once-magical Middle Kingdom has lost some of its sheen for rising numbers of expats, prompting a return home, or another destination. Among their many reasons for leaving China is expat depression.
Back in 2018, the number of foreigners in Nanjing stood at a tad less than 19,000, according to data from the Exit and Entry Administration Department of Nanjing Public Security Bureau. Today, the expat population is closer to 16,000.
In the intervening time, China has changed greatly, again. The biggest difference today is that it is now much harder to do business in China. This is not just true for the expats; it’s across the board.
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Yet it is true that foreigners in China, on the other hand, are in an unusual situation. We regularly will have local people take photos of us. We are often told that we are too old, too fat or too dark. This can take a toll. As Hangzhou-based blog Life Behind the Wall points out, “Even the strongest person, will have lower self-esteem with dealing with that every time [they] walk outside, or go to the grocery store”.
Stress and low job satisfaction are often cited as key reasons for an early departure from China. Those who remain still struggle daily with cross-cultural adaptation and many operate at decreased capacity. As a result, depression is a lot more widespread than many people realise.
Trailing Spouses Prone to Depression
As explored in this publication’s article, “Expat Nightmares; Cross-Cultural Adaptation“, it is the spouses of executives who have been assigned to China that can have the hardest time adjusting. Some of these “trailing spouses” (not necessarily women) had very strong professional lives that they were almost forced into giving up for the sake of the “once in a lifetime opportunity” that China supposedly represents.
Without their circle of friends and isolated in a place that seems brimming with hostility, depression abounds. Alcoholism is commonplace. Some slide into drug use and gambling; the latter being particularly accessible.
Depression Fuelled by Lack of Friends
For foreigners in situations with little to no contact with other expats, the lack of friends becomes the bigger issue. For one, concepts of friendship in China are very different to those in the west. Friends in China do a lot less “hanging out” than in western countries. Generally, friends will only contact each other when they need something, and likewise will be there for each other when needed. This correspondent himself has gone for more than a decade without seeing several Chinese friends.
This coupled with the fact that foreigners in China are aware their time here is limited means that few form true friendships with local people.
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It is also true that in China, disillusionment breeds depression. Away from the language barrier, some of life’s daily difficulties can easily seem overwhelming. Accessing the western Internet, shopping for vegetables or transportation are frustrations that can mount up.
Yet, it is also far too easy to blame China.
Reality Under Trying Situations (RUTS)
For those feeling the strain, remember that you are not alone. And neither is the problem new. Writing for this publication’s very first issue in 2010, Cheryl Malloy, professional and personal life coach, said, “This is your problem and you have to own it. The problem is not China, or your job, or your friends (or lack of); it is your problem and only you can solve it. You cannot change what is external and you will certainly not change China!”.
If you do find yourself with any form of depression, it may also be because you are stuck in a rut. A few easy new directions are the cure.
- Pick up a hobby. Study how to play a traditional Chinese instrument or how to write calligraphy.
- Speak to friends back home. This can help remind us why we chose the adventure that is China.
- Eat Day Lily (干百合). The fragrant flower that blooms once a day is known to effectively treat tumours and ulcers, conjunctivitis, insomnia and depression.
- Think positive. Molloy says, “Decide today that you are not going to be stuck in a rut, that your life is worth more excitement and success and that you can make it happen”.
Finally, it is worth remembering the so-called trailing spouses are the ones who have the most to gain from a new assignment. They have the time to properly explore their new home, to make friends with local people, to join clubs and societies full of those in the same predicament.
Resources for Expats Suffering from Depression
China’s rapid development may be overwhelming at times, but it has also brought help closer to hand. Nanjing is lacking when it comes to counseling services of any kind for the stressed out expat but Shanghai is not.
The Shanghai International Mental Health Association provides mental health services to international communities in Shanghai. Their website lists therapists of all nationalities with practices in Shanghai and their expertise.
Lifeline Shanghai offers a free, confidential and anonymous support service from 10 am until 10 pm, daily. Call them on 400 821 1215 or visit their website to contact them via online chat.
Alcoholics Anonymous meet at the Alano Club at 200 Zhenning Lu in Puxi.
Closer to hand are also Nanjing International Club and the Nanjing Foreign Affairs Service Association.
